


Denial Ain't Just A Mountain In the Himalayas

by missy_kay



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Fluff, Keith in denial, M/M, kind of crack, lance in denial, please don't try to swallow dictionaries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2019-02-15 23:38:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13041921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missy_kay/pseuds/missy_kay
Summary: "For the record: Keith kissed me!" Lance exclaimed while dramatically gesturing to his himself. Ever since The Kiss™, Pidge had taken to mocking him about their relationship-FRIENDSHIP-their friendship and it was driving him insane. There was nothing going on between the two of them, absolutely nothing. Lance decided that now was as good a time as any to set things straight. And yes, he was aware of how ironic that was, thank you very much."I'm telling you guys the truth. It was strictly planatonic."---Lance's vlog, but like, edited ;)First fic on ao3





	Denial Ain't Just A Mountain In the Himalayas

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya! This is my first fic here on ao3 and basically just crack btw, please don't take it seriously. I've used Lance's vlog as a basis for this fic. I haven't followed everything exactly. Keith is still the red paladin in this and Lance is still the blue paladin. This entire fic isn't canon related, it's based off canon events though.
> 
> I've also got two other fics that I'm working on and hopefully I'll publish them soon. I'm also looking for a beta reader for the AU so if you're interested, please contact me :D
> 
> Stay tuned for those fics my dudes and enjoy the story!

Lance grinned as he waited for the castle's computer to start up. Today he was recording his own vlog. He'd already seen the other paladin's vlogs and they were all boring, especially Keith's. Lance reasoned that Keith was a boring person and therefore it was only logical that his vlogs would also be boring. The red paladin spent all his time on the training deck, getting so hot and sweaty that eventually, Keith had to take his shirt off. Not that Lance was watching Keith train, why would he ever want to do that? No, Lance was merely making sure that his rival didn't have better abs than he did. That was the only reason why Lance stared so intently at Keith while he trained. With his shirt off. To reiterate: that was the _only_ reason.

The computer made a shutter sound, signalling that it had started recording. Perfect, Lance thought to himself. It was time to make his grand introduction.

"Alright, what's up castle's computer? I'm the blue paladin, Lance, but you can call me sharpshooter," Lance pretended to shoot at the screen because he was cute like that. "That's what my friend's call me."

Lance ran a hand through his hair and chuckled under his breath. Yes. A+. **A++**. That was an amazing introduction. But he couldn't stop there, not when there was a more pressing issue to be addressed.

"For this _very_ special vlog I'll be talking about a _very_ important event." Lance said, stretching out the 'e' sound in both 'very's.

The Cuban suddenly stood up and slammed his hands down on the desk. He loomed over the camera, trying to look as threatening as possible. It wasn't working.

"About a week ago, I was flirting with Allura and everything was going great until _he_ showed up," Lance grumbled with a childish pout on his lips.

Lance slowly sat down and crossed his arms. He leaned back into the chair and raised an eyebrow as he asked: "But who is he? Well, he is Keith Kogane. My number one rival and _clearly_ , Keith is intimidated by my superior flirting skills because why else would he have interrupted what would've been an amazing kiss between the beautiful Princess Allura and her knight in shining armour," Lance swooned with a blissful smile on his face "and _no_ , her knight in shining armour isn't Shiro or Keith; it's me!" He scowled at the camera.

"Like I was saying before, everything was going _exactly_ to plan."

Lance wasn't lying. Allura was just playing hard to get. He knew she secretly liked his pick up lines but in all honesty, he didn't even like Allura romantically anymore. Lately he had been seeing cocky smirks and beautiful violet eyes in his dreams instead. But Lance didn't know anyone who had beautiful violet eyes so he continued to flirt with Allura.

Irritation filled Lance as he continued, "I used another one of my amazing pick up lines and just as I was about to kiss her, Keith _accidentally_ tripped me!" Lance's face scrunched up with skepticism as he spoke. How do you _accidentally_ stick your foot out directly in someone's path?! You don't.

"But anyway, that wouldn't have been a problem," Lance was totally lying, the floor was _dirty_ and he didn't want to be rolling around on it with _Keith_! "if Keith hadn't _accidentally_ landed on top of me!" To be honest, Lance didn't mind having Keith on top of him-ha ha ha. _Jokes_. He _definitely_ hated it.

"And then," Lance's voice lowered by an octave to emphasise how scandalous the next part of the story was. "our lips _connected_! We kissed! Wait no! I take that back!" Lance refused to acknowledge that it was a mutual kiss because it wasn't. He made that clear in his next declaration.

"For the record: Keith kissed _me_!" Lance exclaimed while dramatically gesturing to his himself. Ever since The Kiss™, Pidge had taken to mocking him about their relationship-FRIENDSHIP-their _friendship_ and it was driving him insane. There was _nothing_ going on between the two of them, absolutely nothing. Lance decided that now was as good a time as any to set things straight. And yes, he was aware of how ironic that was, _thank you very much._

"I'm telling you guys the truth. It was _strictly_ planatonic."

...

Silence ensued as Lance's eyebrows furrowed together. _Planatonic. Paltanotnic? **Laptaplonic**_. No, none of those sounded right. Lance folded his arms and squinted at the camera. He shiftily looked left and right as though he was waiting for Pidge to pop out of nowhere and smack him with a dictionary. In all honesty, he'd be lying if he said he wasn't.

When it appeared that Pidge wasn't going to violate him with an outdated source, he inquired after the validity of his word choice. "Am I using that word right?"

Faint laughter could be heard in the background from a few rooms over. Lance glowered to himself. Okay, so he _wasn't_ using it correctly. Big whoop, Lance wasn't planning to major in literature when he went to university anyway. _If_ he went to university. Oh god. What if he didn't go to uni? What if he didn't make it back to earth?! As much as loved being a super cool defender of the universe, he also wanted to go home eventually. This was bad. Lance had his fair share of the sad internal monologues but this one really took the cake. It combined all of his worries into one tragic muddle of thoughts! Lance would've been impressed but then he'd be stumped by his ability to find amusement at his expense and that _never_ ended well and wow, he sure was rambling. He wondered how long this monologue was going to go for. And about what kind of expressions he was making right now. Man, it sure was going to be fun to watch these vlogs when they got back to Earth. When _they_ got back to Earth. **They**.

...

But what if they didn't all get back to Earth? What if someone died along the way? WHAT IF _HE_ DIED ALONG THE WAY? Lance groaned and buried his head into his arms. He was doomed. Everything was over. It was hopeless, utterly hopeless. They were all going to _die_ in space and they'd never get to see their families _ever_ again and -

"I can hear your pessimistic monologue from here Lance. Stop worrying your pretty little head by thinking so hard," Keith teased as he gently ruffled Lance's hair. The blue paladin enjoyed the feeling of Keith's hand in his hair but scowled as the Korean man continued "you might injure yourself."

Lance scoffed. Who did Keith think he was, using all those smart words like some kind of super hot professor. _Ugh_ , Keith was such a hot jerk- _er_ Keith was such a cold jerk. Cold as ice. Not hot at all. Lance played his pining (no Pidge, he wasn't pining) off as usual by making fun of Keith and his mullet.

"Wow, Mullet man. Injure? _Pessimistic_? Did you swallow a dictionary for breakfast this morning? " he mocked, raising his voice a few pitches higher than usual. Keith always got annoyed when Lance did that. Heh, Keith was cute when he was mad. And by cute, he meant ugly. Real ugly. Like, as a Greek god. Yeah, no. If you hadn't noticed yet, Lance wasn't too good at English. But he _was_ good at getting on Keith's nerves. So continued his taunting. "Maybe you've finally decided to use your think tank more instead of rushing directly into dangerous situations-not that I care about your wellbeing or whatever, psh."

Keith rolled his eyes exasperatedly (read: extremely fondly) at Lance's horrible attempts at teasing (read: adorable rambling). Even if it was possible to swallow a dictionary, which it wasn't, Keith would be the last one to try. Lance, on the other hand, would most definitely try. He would look Keith right in the eye as he gently mouthed on the corner of the dictionary, taking apprehensive kitten licks at first. But then he'd start to get a little bold. The Cuban would begin to take the dictionary further, unhinging his jaw a little to fit more into his greedy mouth. He'd probably make a mess too. There'd be saliva running down his chin and coating his red lips that were raw from Lance's sucking _and what the actual fuck_ was Keith thinking about right now? The only thing Lance's mouth was good for was talking and kissing. _Especially_ kissing.

When Keith returned from la-la-land, he was greeted by the sight of Lance's ugly (read: gorgeous) face right in front of him. Keith leaned back slightly. He didn't think he could control himself with Lance's lips so close in proximity. Said luscious lips were currently moving.

"-lo? Earth to Keith? Have you finally lost your marbles or are you just stunned by my stunningly stunning face? Ah, a little bit of both huh? Don't worry Keith, everyone is a little stunned by my stunningly attractive face and I don't blame anyone either because..."

Nope, Keith took it back. Lance's mouth was only good for kissing. Keith raised a gloved hand in front of Lance who had stopped talking in favour or staring at Keith's hand quizzically.

The red paladin shushed Lance before speaking, "And to answer your question," Keith drawled slowly as he invaded Lance's personal space "the word you're looking for is platonic, you loveable idiot."

Lance drew back, affronted by Keith's confusing words. Did Keith just compliment him and insult him at the same time? Well, two could play it that game. Lance would not be one upped by _Keith_. "Thank you, you adorable jerkwad."

Keith laughed and leaned down to peck Lance's cheek. "Anytime babe."

The blue paladin smiled fondly at his _friend_ before quickly reverting his attention back to the screen. " Ahem, _as I was saying. **Strictly** _ platonic _."_

**Author's Note:**

> Aaaaaaaand that's done. Thanks for reading guys!
> 
> I recently made a tumblr!! Find it here: https://missy-kay.tumblr.com


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